human management #1

i've defected, as zavala have expressed perfectly in "cicatriz esp"...
i suppose i have a defective public relations department in my brain. (actually, my brain is totally defective.) i cannot get along with people. i can only "pretend" to get along with them. after some time, which depends on my addressee, i show my true face. i just can't put down the rebellion up there.. ("bir ben vardır bende benden içerü")

hmmmm....
(kinda overinspired by the perfecion of the mars volta)

mom always says that the human management is the hardest thing.. (well i don't know why i translated this "insan idaresi" thing like this.. i think i just try to be funny. ehe ehe. but i mean being able to communicate and negotiate with people.. also to appease, sometimes.. or simply to tolerate. fuck!!! who am i to invent english expressions?!.. or concepts.. whatever. just stop reading this.) "mothers know," as tefal have put it perfectly. anyway, everyone/everything puts some things perfectly but not me. human management...

i just can't understand how is it possible for some people to be so "stupid". usually i'm the one who is considered to be infected by incomprehensibility disease-kinda-thing.. i'm psycho. psycho is cool. i'm cool.
well, actually, no! i'm not cool. not because of that.. but, maybe thanks to my arrogance. i like arrogant people. people who are arrogant to some extent. especially when they have the right to be arrogent.
anyway.. others are more incomprehensible than me. everyone is busy with trying to figure out advanced swindling techniques.

the reciprocity thing is really important, but not in the sense that comes to one's mind at first sight. it's like, reciprocity of feelings for each other. (well, what is a feeling anyway?) it's not about to keep a tally of every action that have taken place, but every potential action. (since i haven't experienced telepathy yet, only the actions count.)


to be coninued...



seutured contusion
beyond the anthills of the dawning of this plague
said i've lost my way
even if this cul de sac would pay
to reach inside a vault whatever be the cost
sterling clear
blackend ice
and when they drag the lake there's nothing left at all

i've defected